Hope

About 4 months ago I began watching this show on BYUTV called "Turning Point".  I was instantly effected.  The show highlights people throughout the world that have done truly incredible things. Most of them are people you have never heard of who have done things you also have never heard of.  But these are truly amazing people who do incredible things. 

There have been several episodes that have had moved me.  Actually, I don't think I have watched an episode where I haven't cried. These episodes have tugged at emotions and things going on in my soul. 

These are my experiences in life:
7 years of high school teaching:  I love high school students. I had so many students in abusive homes. I had so many experiences with students who were abused, abandoned and neglected. It took a huge toll on me. It was difficult for me leave those kids. I connect with high school students. I do well with them and relate to them.

20+ years of addiction:  I've struggled with sex and food addictions for nearly my entire life.  I know the isolation that comes from addiction.  I know the dark hole you feel in your life and the thoughts that come -- I'll never get out. No one will ever love or trust me again.

2 years of recovery:  I've been attending therapy and recovery meetings for just under two years.  I'm on a pathway now that leads to good places.  I've learned so much. I've changed so much. My life is truly different. 

I'm feeling this change in my soul.  I look at my life and see where a little bit of support here, or knowledge there would have led to a much different outcome.  Not that I don't love my life, I do.  But I can imagine what could have been different.  I don't want to go back to old life of climbing a corporate ladder.  I want to do something to benefit children and women.  I want to be involved in helping people change.  I want to offer hope to people in despair.  I don't know how to do that yet.... but I'm looking for the opportunity.