Exposed

I let him read my first step yesterday.  I've been searching for months to find a way to talk to him about my addiction.  He knew about the addiction, but none of the details.  I knew it was time.  I can't leave without him knowing the full story. 

I sent it early Friday morning -- like 1:30am.  I panicked when I didn't hear from him all day.  Finally, a text in the late afternoon came.  He had read it and said: "I've read it.  Thank you for sharing. I can imagine how difficult that is.  You are a strong person and it shows. Don't let yourself tell you otherwise.  This changes nothing between us."  I burst into tears when I read that.  How can that be true?  How can he accept everything about me?  How can he be so amazingly forgiving and compassionate?  He is the first one outside of SA circles I've shared my story with.  And the first man, other than my therapist of course.  We went to dinner and spent the evening working around his house with his two nephews.  It was a blast and just what I needed -- normalcy and business as usual stuff.  Proof that things hadn't changed between us. 

When I got home, I sent a text saying goodnight.  When he responded he said, "Goodnight. I love you."

Love me?  How can he love me? 

Tonight I'm feeling raw, vulnerable and exposed.  I feel emotionally needy and scared.  I hate feeling this way.  He's on his way over to pick me up for a late movie.  I want to be relaxed and normal but feel stand offish emotionally.

I think I'm in love with him.  That wasn't very smart of me to fall in love with a gay man was it? 

What do I do?