Transfer of Faith

Since my move to Utah, I've been attending ARP meetings.  These are addiction recovery meetings sponsored by the LDS church, my church.  I don't like them, I admit that.  I'm used to SA meetings, where people are incredibly rigorously honest, where sobriety is stated by each member and is the goal of the program, and where the leaders are also people who are struggling with real addiction.  I keep attending, because I want to give back to 12-step programs in all their variety. 

I've been working through the workbook for this program.  Though the 12-steps are essentially the same, there are some key differences.  Also -- there are great readings and questions to answer about the steps and your own testimony.  I read one of them today:

"Many of us tried to get out of our addictions through sheer willpower or through having faith in a friend or therapist.  Sooner or later we found that our faith in ourselves or others did not enable us to overcome our addictions fully.  Write about your feelings today of being humble and willing to turn to Christ and His gospel above all other sources of help in your recovery efforts."

Resentment filled me as I read that question.  I do have faith in my therapist, Dr. C.  I have faith in him because I know the Lord put him in my life.  He helped me find him and confirmed to me spiritually, that my therapist would help me out of addiction.  It's hard to believe that I've been seeing him for two years now.

I've had incredible spiritual experiences since beginning therapy and recovery.  They have been an incredible strength to me.  It is only through the grace of God, and through the "bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ" that I have made it this far.  Yet -- if reading this filled me with resentment, I know it is because there is some truth to it.  

I hear of people who believe that reading the Book of Mormon more will help them work through their depression, or marital issues, or suicidal thoughts, or addictions.  I believe Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are all-knowing.  I have no doubt of that whatsoever.  Yet, with as much as I've read the Book of Mormon, prayed, attended the temple, served others, and sacrificed for the Lord, I couldn't pull myself out of addiction.  I could have never done that without my therapist and without the SA program. 

He had knowledge I didn't.  He was able to point me in the direction I needed to find the knowledge and strength to overcome the addictions and struggles in my life.  Without him, there would have been no recovery.

Yet - I also know, without the Savior, there would be no recovery.  Dr. C doesn't take the place of the Savior.  He can't forgive me, affirm me, or provide the spirit for comfort or strength. He doesn't provide people in my life to support me, or people in my life that I can support.  He doesn't see the master plan or the big picture for my life here on earth.  Only the Savior can do those things.  I get that. I understand the difference here.

But I wonder if it is time to transfer more of the faith I have in Dr. C over to the Savior.  I wonder if it is time to start using that relationship - the one I have been building with the Savior -- as my primary support instead of my secondary?  I wonder if it is time to use it as the steering wheel and not the spare tire?

I don't wonder..... I know it is time.