Congruency

Today I begin my journey back to the land of the living.  I have been so desperately sick for the past week, I haven't done much but try and take care of myself.  Get enough sleep, eat good foods and rest.  That was about all I could manage.  And that was enough.

But today is different. 

Last week, my therapist asked me to make some goals for my life this year.  Make some goals, decisions, lists of things I wanted to accomplish or focus on this year. This is something I have done for the last few years anyway. I have folders on my computer titled "2011 Life Plan" and "2012 Life Plan".  I make PowerPoint presentations and goals for the year and then break them down into monthly goals with lists of things to accomplish.  I'm very ambitious that way.  For about 5-6 months, I diligently update them with pictures, dates, and accomplishments.  Every month I re-evaluate my life and make plans to get even more done.  They have been really good for me.

This year, as I've been really sick the last week, I've really been thinking about these goals and where I really want my life to be different and what I want to focus on. I've come to some conclusions.

My goal for 2013 is Congruency:  "Someone who lives with congruency acts in direct accordance with their dreams, desires, beliefs, values, mission and goals."   There are many areas of my life where I am not living congruently.  I've identified six:  Use of Time, Organization, Eating Habits, Relationships, Activity Level, and Career.

Use of Time:  I squander my time. I want to watch less TV, spend less time on the computer and focus my time more. I believe play is an important part of every day. I don't want to stop having fun or allowing myself time to rest or chill out a little bit.  I just want it to be less time.

Organization:  I'm not as organized as I want to be or as I could be.  I have good systems in place, I just don't utilize them as much as I want to. I want to have better routines in place so things don't pile up, like paper, laundry, clothes, cleaning. If I spent a few minutes every day doing things rather than an hour every Saturday, I'd live a little bit more organized.

Eating Habits:  I've made great strides the last year in my food addiction. But I want to go the next step. I feel like I've broken the addictive habit I have with food. I've broken the relationship that is there. But now I really want to start eating for health. I want to start eating for performance. Food is just food, but now I want to start using it to my advantage.

Activity Level: I'm not living the active life I want. I want to be more outside, more involved in nature. I want to get out and see more.  This has to do with travel, with hiking, with walking, with yard work, with everything. I sit home. I don't want to sit home.  I feel I get overwhelmed because of the poor use of my time and organization. If I could deal with those better, I could get out more.

Career:  I need a job.  I need a job that I love. I haven't really been looking until the last few weeks. It's time now. I need to find something that I love, where I can contribute and feel good about it. Where I am appreciated and get to use my talents, skills, and abilities. 

Relationships:  I feel different about life and relationships recently.  I've been putting boundaries in place enough to finally realize I can maintain myself and be in a relationship.  I don't have to allow people to take priority over me. I don't feel so desperate or attention starved that I have no other option but to say yes to things I don't want to do.  I want to find new relationships both friends and dating that I can develop. I want to develop better relationships with my family. 

All of that sounds really ambitious.  I don't expect to be perfect at it. I only expect to get a little better at it every day.  Starting today.