Mom

I'm sick.  I've been sick for nearly a week.  I woke up New Year's Day with a horrible head cold. It's gotten worse every day.  I haven't been able to sleep for days.  Literally, I've had about 3 hours a night for four days.  Yesterday's new symptom was a cough. It's not a productive cough, just a dry, rough, uncontrollable cough that hurts like hell.  Seriously hurts.

It's similar to what asthma feels like. Last night, a coughing fit started and I thought it was never going to stop. I really thought I was never going to catch my breath again. It reminded me of an asthma attack I had when I was about 19.  But last night, I thought I was going to die. It hurt.

I did what my mom used to when I was little.  I boiled water and with the pot on the table, put my head over the steam and made a tent over my head and the pot with a towel.  Breathing in the steam put moisture back into my lungs and I could feel the tightness release.  I've had to do that twice today.

I called my mom this afternoon to talk to her about my cough. I heard her voice and instantly started crying.  No matter how old I get, she is still my mommy and I am still her little girl and need her to tell me everything will be ok.  And as much as I sometimes struggle with my mom, she is always there and tonight gave me the reassurance I needed, as well as some other great suggestions. 

My mom really is amazing.  As the daughter of an alcoholic, which she will never admit to, she has overcome much to be where she is at. I've suffered and struggled with much of what she hasn't overcome, but I can forgive and let it go.  And with a few boundaries of my own, I can have a solid relationship with her.  I am grateful for that.