Sacred

As I put my shoes on Sunday morning to head to church, my stomach felt incredibly uneasy.  I decided to lay down for a few minutes before leaving.  No more than 10 minutes later, I was hunched over the toilet.  It wasn't a pretty site..... not pretty at all.

My first thought, "I cannot have the stomach flu again!  I just did this two weeks ago."  My second thought, "I am supposed to speak at a fireside tonight!! How am I going to do that???"  Sunday night was the kick-off fireside for the Stake youth production I'm directing. It was my time to explain what we are doing, why we are doing it and to share my testimony of the Book of Mormon.  It couldn't be rescheduled, or postponed.  It was Sunday night. 

Knowing, I needed help, I text my bff and told him about my stomach.  He left church, brought me Gatorade, orange juice, and white bread, and then gave me a priesthood blessing.  Two things were said during the blessing that changed my weekend.  First:  It is important to rest when it is time to rest and you will be strong when it is time to be strong.  Second:  Heavenly Father loves you and is excited about the decisions and projects you are involved in this year. He is excited to see what the coming months bring. 

After spending a little more time in the bathroom, I went to sleep. I knew it was time to rest if I wanted to be strong for the evening. I woke up about 3:30pm and the words went through my head, it is time to be strong.  I got up and felt amazing. My stomach seemed settled and I even felt a little hungry.  I seemed to get stronger the longer I was up. I cleaned up and got dressed. I revisited my talk and prayed for help. I felt prompted to share how sick I was and more importantly the part of my blessing about Heavenly Father being excited, not only for me, but for them.  I practiced the song I was supposed to play that night and then drove to the church building. 

Every moment, I seemed to have more energy. Rehearsal of the musical number went extremely well.  The singers were awesome and sounded great.  I explained to a few people how sick I was, but no one seemed to believe me.  The fireside started and I could feel myself get a little nervous, but still felt secure.  I don't remember everything that I said, but the spirit burned within me. I knew that it was only the Lord's power that was sustaining me, and more importantly, I knew that the words coming out of my mouth were exactly what the Lord wanted me to say.  I knew what to say, and I knew how to say it.  It was amazing. 

The musical number was after my part and it couldn't have been more beautiful.  After the song, I sat down and instantly felt my fever return.  The stake president added his remarks when I was done.  He started by asking how many of the audience had ever witnessed a miracle before.  A few people raised their hands.  He then said everyone should be raising their hands, because what happened with me that night was a miracle.  I was touched by his words.  We sang my favorite hymn for the closing song.  Verse 2 begins "In every condition, in sickness in health......" and ends "As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be."  I cried through the entire verse, knowing that my day demanded I be there that night, and the Lord provided the means for that to happen.

Twenty minutes later when the fireside was over, I was burning up and nauseous again.  I spoke to a few people, but knew I needed to get home.  The stake president walked me to my car, along with my things.  I drove home with tears of gratitude.  The spirit continued to bear witness to me of the success of the evening.  I got home in time to make a mad dash for the bathroom, where I proceeded to vomit for another hour.  Yes -- the Lord had made me strong when it was time to be strong, and losing that strength was a testimony of that.  After the last of the vomiting, I huddled in bed with a high fever.  It finally broke hours later when I woke up in a sweat. 

I spent yesterday in bed, trying to slowing introduce food back into my system.  But today, I have felt nearly 100%. 

One of the women who attended the fireside called today to see how I was feeling.  As she told me about horrible I must have felt, and I did, I thought of also how blessed I felt. My experience Sunday was sacred in so many ways.  But most of all, it was a confirmation to me of the Lord's love and trust. We go along in life and we pray and read and make decisions. We believe we feel confirmation of those decisions, we believe we do the right things. We seek advice and try to be good people. For me, that means seriously working my recovery as well.  Sometimes, I wonder if what I'm doing is really God's will for me.  And then we have sacred moments like these. I can think of a few others in my life as well.  We have moments we can never deny, when we feel at one with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We have moments where we not only feel, but we KNOW we are doing the right thing.

Sunday was one of those sacred moments.  I will never forget.