7.7

One more week on the feelings challenge. I've really enjoyed it though. I believe I am going to continue on some level, probably not daily, but somehow. Still working that out.

Fear: I walked into therapy today a little on the fearful side. By the time 1pm came around, I felt so in control of my emotions that I didn't want to stir them all back up again at therapy.  Fear was unfounded.

Anger: No real anger today. Everything went really well.

Shame: I had this really great connection moment at therapy today. I feel less shame today than I probably have my whole life. So many major pieces of my addiction and life fell into place today. I love this day.

Guilt: I ate too much candy today.  But tomorrow is a new day and I won't let my food choices today hold tomorrow hostage.

Pain: No real pain, hip even felt good today.

Loneliness: I didn't feel lonely today. That is a big statement for me.

Love: I felt surrounded by love today. There were so many tender mercies today from Heavenly Father. Jodi, Shiela, Andy, Aaron, Claudeen, Jane, Morgan, Erika, Tina, Maureen, Megan, Eric, Lorin. Seriously, I am surrounded by love.  Oh and Taylor Swift -- can't forget her today.  Love the song -- "We are never, ever ever ever getting back together."

Joy: I left therapy feeling fundamentally different today. I know I've said that before, or written that before, but today was even better. I felt an incredible amount of validation with my therapist today. As we discussed so many things, I was really overcome with gratitude and joy. As he pointed out, I practiced a huge amount of self-care the last two weeks, and was able to remain sober through a very difficult thing. "You're not just working at being a healthier person, you ARE a healthier person." Man I loved hearing that. He cried with me today during therapy. I owe him my life in so many ways.

Passion: I have a passion for recovery today. I met with my new sponsor this afternoon and am looking forward to picking my step-work back up.

My life is going to be better because of all the pain I've gone through the past few weeks. I can feel it. I feel ready to leave trauma behind, to leave Steve in the dust, to stop doubting my own worth and move forward.