Saturday, September 22, 2012

Feelings 2.2

Fear: I want to be aroused. I like that feeling. Wanting to be aroused is not a good thing for me. It means I'm at risk. It means I'm not very committed right now.  I need to be more committed. I'm afraid I will act out or start fantasizing. 

Anger: I don't think I was angry at all today. At least that I remember.

Pain: My arms hurt from swimming yesterday. I haven't done that, lap swimming, for months. It's a good pain though. 

Shame: No shame either.

Guilt: I'm still not doing as much as I want to be doing during the day.  However, I did get a lot done. But I still feel guilty.

Loneliness: I'm just lonely. I have friends and even had a good day with Melody. I want to have a partner. I want to have someone to share my life with me.

Joy: I did so much work in the garage today.  I also completely my list of things to do.  I'm feeling joyful about that.

Passion: I decorated my house today. I haven't decorated my house for fall in years. I love it when my house is decorated and I have great fall smells coming from it.  It makes me feel a passion for life and for fall and makes me feel organized and put together. 

Love: I went to an SA meeting today. I haven't been able to be at this meeting for a few weeks.  It was SOOO good to be back.  I love these women that I meet with.  They have been through very difficult things with me the past year.  They have heard my entire story and are still my friends. 

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