Sunday, September 23, 2012

Feelings 2.3

Anger: No real anger today -- that's a few days in a row. 

Fear: No real fear --

Pain: My arms hurt today. After swimming on Friday, the back of arms hurt.  It's a hurt kind of pain, but pain nonetheless.

Loneliness: I sat in church alone today. Primary got to me today.  The cutest kid gave a talk today and his mom and dad were in the back watching. I watched them beaming with pride as he spoke and it make me lonely. I want a family.

Shame: No real shame today

Guilt: I should have done more last week for work -- I should have communicated with work better and should have done a better job. I need to catch up.

Joy: No real joy today. 

Passion: I sang with the stake choir tonight.  LOVE singing again.  LOVE being part of a choir. 

Love: Little Flora in Nursery called after me every time she saw me today -- I love you Sistah Smith. I love working in Nursery and Primary. I feel loved everytime I'm in nursery.  They all love me and talk to me and want to be with me.  I love them!

So I felt all these feelings today but I don't want to talk about them.  Is that good or bad? Bad probably. I know, it's bad actually.  When I don't want to talk about feelings, or process feelings or discuss feelings, then that means I want to escape them.

I need to work through my feelings. but I don't want to!!!!!

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