I had a good day.... :)
Anger: Had a brief moment of anger today. I felt someone was being co-dependent with me today. Interesting being on the opposite side of it. I was really angry for about 2 minutes. Then I let it go. Not worth being angry about, honestly.
Pain: Physical therapy was painful today. The stretching and traction was painful. I'm hoping it stays manageable though. I really don't want surgery.
Loneliness: Didn't really experience loneliness today.
Shame: I didn't really feel shame today either.
Guilt: I felt guilt today about many things. I didn't work today. I need to find a job and I didn't work on finding a job. Tomorrow -- tomorrow I will do more and feel good about spending my time.
Fear: My mom called today and told me my brother's house got broken into. He actually fought with the intruder and wrestled him to the ground, held him until the cops came. Amazing my brother is. For years he has had dreams and has been haunted by the idea of protecting his family. He has had horrible dreams about it. And now it actually happened. It makes me a little scared for the safety of my family. He is ok - they are all ok -- but it's a little scary.
Joy: No real joy today either. Nothing particularly sad about today -- just no real joy.
Passion: I am re-committed to recovery today. It was nice to have a little bit of a kick in the pants from my therapist and nice to have a passion back for life and recovery.
Love: I had a few more great conversations today with my recovery friends. I feel loved when I have these moments and conversations with them.
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