Decisions

I'm home.  It was a long drive, extended by being stuck on the mountain for 4 hours while the pass was closed.  It was a killer for my hip, which has slowly been getting worse.  I played "Just Dance" with my nephews all night on Friday.  SO FUN - but I'm paying for it even today.

I can't decide what to do with my hip.  Between the dysphasia, impingement, tilted pelvis, and enlarged, torn labrum I'm not doing well.  Do I wait it out or do I go ahead with a replacement?  I can't be as active as I want to be with the pain in my hip.  I can't take care of my yard or do much of anything else that I would like to.  It's hard to lose weight when you can't be active and in pain.  I don't like it.

The other thing I'm really struggling with is whether or not to move to Utah.  All the moves of my life have been so spirit driven. I've had significant impressions to move to certain places.  College was that way, careers have been that way.  Everything has been very undeniable.  But this one is different.  When I was applying for a job in Utah, my heart was full of the spirit.  I remember crying as I wrote the cover letter and words just came to my mind.  But I didn't get the job.  Maybe the spirit was just for that general direction.  Also, when I was driving around last week, I had a moment where I described what I wanted my life to be like.  I said to my mom "I want to move to Utah, teach a few classes, foster some teenagers and figure life out."  I felt the spirit then as well.  But I look at my life here and think I'm slightly crazy to be willing to walk away from what I have.  Not that I couldn't build connections again, I feel confident that I could.  But what I have is a good life.  Why would I want to change that?  Ever??  I don't know. 

These two rather major decisions occupy my brain all the time.  I've got to find a way to let go a little better.