Uncertain

I just got home from a single adult dance for my church.  I met a guy there and I'm uncertain of my behavior.  He asked me out for tomorrow evening and I agreed.  But now I'm doubting myself.

Did I flirt with him because I could? I wasn't physically attracted to him, though he smelled good. I will say that.  He's funny and we have similar interests.  I asked him to dance with me but he said no and then tried to make up for it all evening.  I don't know -- I'm confused.  I'm confused about the whole thing.  My therapist keeps saying I need to start dating, and I want to.  But it is hard!!

I learned my flirting/relationship/dating skills from predators.  Though I know that doesn't make me a predator, it makes me really uncertain about what I'm doing.  When I go into that mode it feels weird. I don't necessarily trust myself or what I'm doing.  Did I just want someone to lust after me or do I really want to spend an evening getting to know him?  I don't know the answer to that.

There was nothing inappropriate about anything that happened.  We didn't hold hands or kiss.  There was no sexual talk or even innuendos.  Everything was above board and good.  But I sit here a little bit anxious and scared about it.  What if we see a movie and he wants to hold my hand?  Will I be able to say no?  Can I really hold a boundary?  Am I just starting the cycle all over again?