Today was way better. I should have started on Advil PM a few nights ago. Life on 8 solid hours of sleep is way better. I laid down and got up 8 hours later from the same position. You know it was solid sleep when that happens. I will definitely be doing that for a few more nights. For sure!!
Anger: No real anger today.
Fear: No real fear today either.
Loneliness: A little. Way better than yesterday. Didn't really think about Steve at all today and felt less lonely.
Shame: No real shame today. I had a good meeting with my nutritional therapist today. We discussed body image and similar issues. As she was talking I was surprised at what was going on in my head. What she is saying makes total sense to me, I even agree with it. Yet at the same time I can feel myself not buying in to what she said. I can say people should be accepting of people of all shapes and sizes, yet I know I'm not. I can say there is health at every size -- yet, I know I'm judgemental of people who are overweight, like myself. I'm sad to admit that. I'm shameful to admit that. I've got some issues here to face. There are days I won't look at myself in the mirror all day. I will get dressed, dry my hair and do my make-up and never look at myself the rest of the day. Talk about issues. I've got some processing to do.
Guilt: No real guilt today -- I had a good day.
Joy: I love physical therapy today. My hip feels so much better on these days. It is like pure joy to stand up off the table after traction and feel like my hip and leg are back in place. Awesome.
Love: I talked to my mom today. It felt really good to have the conversation and not have this overwhelming feeling like I've got to fix her or am responsible for her somehow. I had a good conversation, felt like I could empathize with her, and get off the phone and not worry or have this overwhelming feeling of responsibility. It's was good. I loved it.
Passion: Nope.
Good day.
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