I'm extremely grateful for professional help tonight. After having such a hard, discouraging day yesterday, I was concerned that today was just going to be a long one. This morning, I really didn't want to get up. But I got up and made it to the gym before going to PT.
My physical therapist is amazing. Seriously. I spelled out what the doctor said yesterday and cried a little bit when I said I was discouraged. He was great! He let me cry and then said, "We can fix this!" He gave me great information and helped with a plan. He was so supportive and encouraging. But more than that -- he really helped me understand the science and concept of what I need to do to get my body working again. He had great analogies and great explanations.
This afternoon, I met with my nutritional therapist. She was also amazing. Super supportive, super encouraging, full of great ideas and helpful hints. I cried and she was helpful, extremely helpful. I love her.
Anyway.....
Fear: I'm concerned about the future. I'm scared about the job market, finding something that will give me the money and flexibility I want. I'm scared that returning to teaching will cause a relapse.
Anger: Melody is driving me crazy.
Pain: Hip aches tonight -- not the sharp pain, just an ache.
Shame: No real shame today
Loneliness: No real loneliness today either.
Guilt: A little bit about my eating. I need to be better tomorrow.
Joy: At having real help and support today.
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