Feeling 4.7

Today is the end of week 4 --Half way through.  I will say that I do feel like I have more control over my emotions. I feel like I recognize them better and spend less time in the negative emotions.  Anger has almost completely disappeared from my life. Because anger is a secondary emotion, I dig deeper and am starting to identify the more fundamental emotion beneath.  It's good.

I will say that I'm excited to be on the downhill with this assignment. Four more weeks seems like a long time, but it will go fast.  After the 8 weeks, I want to do something like this to keep in touch with my emotions, but maybe not exactly like this.  I will need to figure out what that looks like.

Anger: I talked with a good friend tonight about her husband's recent behavior. I am totally angry for her. What a complete and total jackass he is!  She deserves better.

Fear: In the same conversation I felt fear of over sharing. Sometimes, I think I say too much.

Shame: Nope -- no real shame today.

Guilt: I didn't communicate with my sister about being out late tonight. I know she worries about me when she doesn't know where I am.  BUT - I'M 36 AND YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!!!!!! BUT - I also recognize that it is a courtesy issue as well.  AND that I don't tell her on purpose to make her mad, and that is the part I feel guilty about.

Pain: Nope

Loneliness: Weird combination of loneliness, yet contentment as well. I want a partner in my life, but not until it's the right time and not until I'm a little bit healthier.  It will come in God's time.

Joy: I lost two pounds this week.  JOY!

Love: I talked to so many great women today. I love my friends. I love the women I am surrounded with. It is great.

Passion: I want an orgasm. I'm just going to put it out there. This is probably the "wrong" type of passion I'm supposed to be reporting on, but there it is. Am I going to do it? No. In fact, I'm going to make a recovery call as soon as I publish this, because now I'm feeling triggered.  LOL  Better to identify it now, then deal with it when I'm half-asleep later. 

And there you have it -- Amy's emotions for the day!