7.4

Anger: No anger today

Fear: No fear today

Shame: No shame today

Guilt: I overbooked myself this week.  I wonder sometimes how I ever worked with all of the therapy and recovery work I do. I volunteered to babysit for my friend who is just starting therapy this week, but it overlaps with my nutritional therapy and my physical therapy and so I have to reschedule and it has made things very busy.  I need to be a little more aware of my schedule and not over commit.

Pain: My muscles hurt.  I've been doing these sprint exercises on my new little Xciser machine and my muscles are in rebellion.

Loneliness:  I had to do some therapy homework around Steve...... and I am very lonely tonight. I want my fantasy world back sometimes. 

Love:  One of my affirmations is "I am surrounded by love."  I find myself saying it a lot.   Tonight, when I was feeling a little bit lonely, I got an email from a woman in my ward asking me to come to dinner tomorrow night. I am surrounded by love.

Joy: No joy

Passion: No passion

I am ovulating and I hate it. It really is a sexual peak for me and it's hard to keep things in check sometimes. I find myself wanting to flirt and talk sexually even with women in my SA group. I find that I recall sexual experiences almost looking for a hit.  It doesn't work anymore because I have such tight rules around those things.  But it's frustrating. I hate that married addicts can have sex and I can't. I hate that my body seriously wants something.  It's just physically frustrating.  I've tried to explain this to my therapist -- but being a man, he really doesn't get it.