"But they that shall wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
It started a few weeks ago with a talk I heard in church. The speaker quoted Neal A. Maxwell as saying something to the effect of "there is more to enduring than pacing back and forth waiting for the end". Then my friend recently came out that he was gay and told of his personal struggles and the heaviness he feels around this trial. My mom expressed recently her desire to go to heaven to be with my dad. I have felt the weariness of not having a partner to share my life with or children to raise. The common theme here is being tired. I have heard so many people say those words lately.... I'm tired of being alone, of being gay, of being different, of feeling different, of living, of being sick, of having cancer, of doing this calling, of fighting addiction, of dealing with my husband, of working, of reading my scriptures, of ______________, you fill in the blank.
Over the last week or so, as I have felt a change in my heart and my very being, I have felt these promises. My strength has been renewed. There are moments when I feel I am emotionally flying. I am stronger than I have ever been in my life, both emotionally and physically. I have more self-control than I have ever had.
There is more to endurance than waiting for the end. When we turn to the Lord and wait upon him, our strength is renewed, we soar to new heights, we walk and run and are not tired or weak. It doesn't happen over night, that is why the word wait is used, but it does happen. And it keeps happening, as long as we keep waiting and seeking His will.
And, for the record, I am by no means a master at this. I struggle with it daily. I don't always want to do everything or have a good attitude about it. But I'm learning, very slowly.
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